


Stars in the rain

by pasu_pare



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, idk what im doing, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-04-30 18:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14503116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasu_pare/pseuds/pasu_pare
Summary: Sayo and Tsugumi slowly open up to one another and let their relationship grow.





	1. Part 1

Sayo walked through the heavy downpour, clenching and unclenching her fists in frustration. She walked faster with each step, the rain falling heavily upon her face. Their live show was in a week, she had spent all her available time practicing, yet she had played horribly during that practice session. She could not get her intro in Determination Symphony quite right. Rinko, who accompanied her guitar rift, had played flawlessly. Sayo on the other hand had missed a few notes, always at the same part, which threw her off causing her to make an even bigger mess. Lisa had told her not to push herself, that she would eventually play her part flawlessly. But she had exhausted herself with practice and still couldn't get it right.  _How am I supposed to find my own sound, if all my time and effort isnt making me better?_ If she could not get the intro right, it threw off the whole band. She was bringing Roselia down.

Consumed in self loathing, wondering if everything she did was all in vain, she had not noticed that she had subconsciously ended up at the Hazawa cafe. She stopped for a moment, an urge to go in tugged at her. _What for? Why am i even here?_ , she thought. She had no idea why she ended up there, but she could not possibly enter the cafe as drenched as she was. A deep sigh escaped her, and she walked past the cafe, stalling for a moment when the door opened and a familiar comforting voice called her name.

‘Sayo-san!’ Turning around, Sayo’s eyes focused on Tsugumi, her white t-shirt and apron slowly getting wet in the rain as she made her way to Sayo. ‘Sayo-san, I thought it was you. What are you doing out in the rain? You'll catch a cold!’ The worried tone in Tsugumi’s voice was mildly comforting and Sayo’s tense shoulders relaxed slightly. ‘I just finished practice and needed some air.’

‘Sayo your house is in the opposite direction. Come inside before you catch a cold.’ Tsugimi reached for Sayo’s hand, pulling her into the Hazawa cafe. ‘Hazawa-san, wait! I'm drenched! I would only make a mess.’ Sayo reluctantly tried to persuade Tsugumi, but followed her nonetheless. ‘Don't worry about it! I don't want you to get sick Sayo-san.’ Sayo took comfort in the way Tsugumi said her name, allowing it to echo within her for a while longer. Unsure why Tsugumi’s gentle persuasions compelled her to follow the brunette, she allowed Tsugumi to lead her into the cafe and up to the main house.

‘I think you should take a shower first, I’ll leave fresh clothes and a towel for you, so hurry up and take a bath before you catch a cold.’ Tsugumi said as she directed her towards the bathroom. Sayo wondered why Tsugumi was so worried about her, when she herself was drenched - which was Sayo’s fault too. ‘I can take a bath after you, so please go ahead before you catch a cold too. I’m already intruding, allowing you to take care of me like this.’ Tsugumi stared at her softly and shook her head, which caused Sayo to shift her stance and fidget with her hair. The last time they had spent time together was during the baking class, and Sayo had felt a deep connection to Tsugumi, a connection unlike any other she had ever felt before. Her mind would often wonder to thoughts of the brunette and she herself was unsure why this was so. ‘I can take a bath after you please don't worry!’ Tsugumi's eyes looked away from Sayo, breaking their eye contact as she continued. ‘Um... I-I think, well you seem...I think something’s bothering you, and I’d like to help you any way I can. I’ll take a bath after you, so please do go first, and I’ll go prepare some tea for when we’re done.’ Tsugumi hesitantly said, a light pink colour touching her cheeks. Slightly puzzled, Sayo wanted to reach out to her in case she had a fever, which would explain the slight pink in her cheeks. Tsugumi however, turned away and started preparing Sayo's towel. Unsure what to make of this, she quietly thanked Tsugumi and made her way to the bathroom.

The heat grazed her skin as she sunk into the bath, allowing the water to relax her tense muscles. Sitting in the bath of Tsugumi’s house made her feel quite anxious. She had exchanged a few messages with Tsugumi since their meet up after the baking class, but they had not properly seen each other. Sayo felt her cheeks go warm. Burying her hands in her face, she submerged herself under the water.

_What am I even doing here?_

Some time had passed before she remembered Tsugumi was also waiting to use the bath. She stood up abruptly, drying herself and almost tripping in the process. She hurriedly opened the door of the bathroom to find fresh clothes waiting for her, folded on a chair. She studied them for a while, wondering if they were Tsugumi’s pyjamas, and why on earth Tsugumi would give her pyjamas to use. They were a dark blue, with white stars on them. _Hazawa-san is a fan of stars?_ Sayo made a mental note to ask her later, tips for conversation in case they got a bit awkward with one another. The pyjamas were short on her, which made her smile to herself.

She hesitated outside the door of Tsugumi’s room for a while, then slowly raised her hands and brought it to the door, giving it a gentle knock. The door opened, and Tsugumi welcomed her with a smile. ‘Sayo-san! How was your bath? The hair dryer is just by my bed, I'm sorry, those pyjamas were the only ones I could find...ahhhh I knew it would be short but I didn't think it would be that short, I'm sorry!’

Sayo nodded, and carefully looked around Tsugumi’s room. There were two mugs of tea sitting by the table in the centre of the room. ‘Hazawa-san, thank you for your kindness, and I apologise for taking too long in the bath- it appears I lost track of time. And these...pyjamas, I shall make sure to wash them before I return them.’ Tsugumi giggled, and stepped outside her room, heading for the bathroom. ‘Sayo-san, its very late. The rain doesn't seem to be stopping so you should stay over, I’ll prepare an extra futon.’ Tsugumi said, then disappeared for the bathroom. Sayo watched her, then turned her attention back to the interior of the room. The room was small, with pictures of stars and the members of Afterglow on the walls. Sayo made her way to the window just by the bed and peered outside. The rain was heavy, but surely she couldn't stay the night. That would be too much to ask. It was then that she became aware of her racing pulse and shallow breaths. She sat by the table and sipped her tea, willing her pulse to calm down. This was all too sudden, and she felt as though she had already overstayed her welcome, plus allowing Tsugumi to look after her this way made her feel timid. But she couldn't explain why her breathing became shallow, or why her heart beat was so fast she could almost hear it. Drowning out the thoughts, she searched for her phone and sent a quick text to Hina, letting her know what had happened. Sayo silently watched as Tsugumi laid out her extra futon, the way she talked about her band practice with Afterglow earlier that day, and how she had missed a few notes. She laughs it off, but Sayo can sense that it had gotten to her.

When she was in Tsugumi’s presence, she felt as though she could tell her anything. Sitting in their own separate beds, inches from each other, Sayo hesitantly opened up to Tsugumi about why she had furiously walked alone in the heavy rain. Tsugumi listened quietly, with soft eyes that convey her understanding. Sayo was grateful that she could share her worries with Tsugumi, who offered words of gentle encouragement.

Sayo laid in her futon, listening to the shallow breaths of Tsugumi who was sleeping on the bed. The sound was oddly comforting, causing a contented sigh to escape her. Sayo closed her eyes and slowly drifted into sleep.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayo becomes a regular at Tsugumi's cafe.

Sayo hesitated outside the Hazawa cafe, her fingers lingering on the door handle. She had been waiting outside for ten minutes, watching Tsugumi serve customers. Unsure why she was even waiting outside, she had decided to go in. But a nervous feeling took hold of her, rooting her to where she stood-which bothered her since she had never been nervous entering any sort of cafe before. Taking a deep breath and mentally preparing herself, she opened the door and walked in.

‘Hello welcome to the Hazawa cafe- Sayo-san?!’ Tsugumi seemed shocked that the person who stood in front of her was indeed Sayo. Sayo cleared her throat, ‘Hazawa-san I didn't mean to disturb you. I have come to return the pyjamas you allowed me to borrow.’ ‘Sayo-san you didn’t have to do all this, but since you're here can I get you anything?’ Tsugumi led her to a table by the window, Sayo hadn’t meant to stay long, but somehow she complied and sat down. Picking up the menu Tsugumi had set on her table, and skimming through it, turned to Tsugumi, who was eagerly awaiting her order. ‘May I have the large fries and the strawberry milkshake please.’ ‘Of course! The uh...strawberry milkshake?’ Tsugumi looked surprised. ‘Yes. Is that alright?’ Noticing that Tsugumi was staring at her she raised an eyebrow. ‘Hazawa-san is there something on my face?’ ‘No! You look pretty, I mean, I just assumed you would take a black coffee, or some sort of coffee so I was slightly surprised. Sorry for assuming something like that, so you like these kind of foods Sayo-san?’ Sayo felt a slight blush creeping up her cheeks and she looked away slightly. ‘Y-yes, french fries happen to be one of my favourite things.’ Tsugumi smiled and nodded as she walked away. Sayo let a breath out and looked out the window, mentally going over her finger positions on her guitar.

Tsugumi came back a few minutes later, a plate of french fried and a glass of cold milkshake in hand. ‘Here you go Sayo-san! Enjoy your meal.’ She beamed. Sayo nodded and sipped on her milkshake. Tsugumi looked around the cafe, making sure there were no customers to serve, and sat down opposite Sayo. Slightly confused, Sayo looked at her quizzically ‘Hazawa-san?’ ‘Do you like it? I made the milkshake myself!’ Sayo continued to sip on her milkshake. Knowing that Tsugumi had made it herself, for her, gave her a warm feeling inside despite the cold drink. ‘It’s delicious Hazawa-san. You're very good at these things.’ Flustered, Tsugumi let out a little laugh. The two sat and spoke, with Sayo eating her fries and Tsugumi watching her with gentle eyes. Sayo spoke of the upcoming show Roselia had, and how she felt as though she was slowly but surely getting the timing right. Tsugumi encouraged her, and with Tsugumi believing in her, Sayo felt she could do well. ‘I should get back to work, please stop by again Sayo-san!’ Although it was not in her plan to return, the comfort of the Hazawa cafe, or rather the comfort of spending time with Tsugumi, made her consider coming back. Not to mention the fries she just had were irresistibly delicious. She made a mental note to return the next day after practice.

True to her word, Sayo returned the day after. And the day after that. And the day after that too. And the following days. Sayo would stop by after practice, order a portion of fries and a milkshake and talk with Tsugumi about anything and everything. Her eyes would wander across Tsugumi’s face while she listened to her, noticing the different expressions she would make. She would notice how Tsugumi furrowed her brows and her voice would shake from its usual cheery tone when talking about a bad day at practice with afterglow. Sayo noticed the way Tsugumi would always ask about her, wanting to know more about her. The sound of Tsugumi’s bright laughter resonated through her, and it was possibly the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. Slowly but surely, Sayo cherished the time she spent here. She felt calm and free, as though her worries and anxieties couldn’t reach her; not here. And with Tsugumi, she felt like she could truly be herself.

‘Sayo-san? Are you alright?’ Lost in thought, Sayo noticed Tsugumi had been talking to her, her eyebrows furrowed in a worried manner. ‘Hazawa-san, I am terribly sorry I was lost in thought.’ Tsugumi giggled softly ‘I thought so. Is everything alright?’ Sayo nodded, reassuring Tsugumi and asked her to repeat what she had missed. ‘Ah! Um...well I was saying that I have to leave soon.’ ‘Oh, I’m sorry to have kept you. I shall be going too.’ ‘Um, Sayo-san I was saying, well if you’d like to come with me? I’m going to meet Himari-chan and Moca-chan, I-I mean if you're not busy! It’s okay if you are!’ Sayo listened to Tsugumi’s incoherent rambling and slightly chuckled. She wouldn’t mind spending more time with Tsugumi; Himari and Moca on the other hand, she would. She didn’t know them all too well and she wouldn’t want to intrude. ‘Thank you for the offer Hazawa-san, but I’m afraid I will have to decline. I don’t want to intrude on your time with your friends.’ Tsugumi looked slightly down, and Sayo worried in case she had said something wrong. She instinctively reached out to Tsugumi’s hand, but abruptly pulled it back. Unsure of what to make of her actions, she picked up her bag and made for the door, which was suddenly pulled back, causing Sayo to stumble backwards into Tsugumi. ‘Eh? Sayo-san from Roselia? I didn’t expect to see you here, what a surprise!’ Himari gleamed. ‘Himari-chan! Moca-chan! You’re early!’ Tsugumi said from behind Sayo. ‘Yo Tsugumi. Did we interrupt something? How long are you going to cling to Sayo?’ Moca sniggered teasingly. Sayo's entire body felt heated and her cheeks reddened. She promptly straightened herself and turned to see Tsugimi slightly flustered. Clearing her throat and wiping her brow, she turned to face Moca and Himari, ‘I was just leaving. It was good seeing you.’ She made for the door, which was blocked by Himari and Moca. ‘E-excuse me.’ Sayo tried to manoeuvre past the two members of Afterglow, but Moca had other plans.

‘Since you're here Sayo-chan, why don’t you join us? We’re going to the Edogawa music store.’ Sayo thoughtfully considered and glanced at Tsugumi who seemed hopeful, but wouldn’t push her. ‘Since you seem to be good friends with Tsugu, you should come with us!’ Himari chirped.

_Good friends? Is that how it seemed? Does she see Tsugumi as a friend?_ _Somehow she felt closer than mere friendship._

She shook her head to rid of the surfacing thoughts and resigned herself. ‘Very well.’ Tsugumi clapped her hands together in excitement ‘I’m glad you’re coming Sayo-san!’ Sayo smiled at Tsugumi. They exited the Hazawa cafe and walked side by side. During their walk, their hands unintentionally brushed together more than a comfortable number. Each time, either Sayo or Tsugumi would quickly pull their hand away and turn to face the opposite direction. Sayo wondered if Tsugumi felt uncomfortable, and made a mental note to be careful of the placement of her hands, although it seemed like Tsugumi was inching closer. The sun was setting, dipping past the horizon and it would soon be dark. Sayo told herself that she wouldn't allow herself the indulgence of staying long, she had to go home and practice. 

 

Sayo felt slightly awkward, watching the three interact. They were helping Himari pick out a new bass strap, and Sayo appreciated Tsugumi’s efforts to include her in the conversations. However, she could not shake off the unnerving feeling like she could use her time practicing. Tsugumi seemed happy she accompanied them, and to be able to see Tsugumi's genuine happy smile was satisfying enough for her. She watched how at ease Tsugumi was around Himari and Moca. It was clear to see they were all close friends. Sayo felt a tugging feeling within her chest; she wanted Tsugumi to be at ease with her this easily; however the brunette seemed to get flustered a lot. Unsure how to take this, that perhaps Tsugumi didn’t feel as comfortable around her, Sayo cleared her mind. They had finally picked a strap, and were moving to the counter to pay for it.

‘Himari and I will pay for this, we’ll meet you two after.’ Moca winked, dragging Himari off. ‘Ehh?? Moca, they’ll be going with us anyway whats the big de- hey!’ Himari was unable to finish her sentence as Moca pulled her away faster.

Tsugumi looked around, unsure what to do, and turned to face Sayo. ‘Um...I guess we could go wait for them outside.’ She said sheepishly. Sayo nodded and made for the door. The two of them stood outside in silence for a while until Tsugumi pointed out a star. ‘Ah! There it is! The first star!’ Sayo followed the direction of where she pointed, and sure enough there was a star, illuminated brightly against the dark sky. ‘You noticed that very quick Hazawa-san.’ ‘Aaah ahaha it’s a secret talent of mine!’ Sayo watched Tsugumi as she looked up at the star. She thought Tsugumi looked as dazzling as the star, and cleared her throat before the words escaped her.

When Himari and Moca finally appeared, Sayo excused herself and they parted ways. Roselia’s live was in two days, and Sayo needed to devote what remaining time she had to practice.

‘Hikawa-san, you're playing very well lately.’ Yukina noted approvingly. Sayo herself felt as though she had slightly improved, however she still couldn't quite get the timing of a couple notes just right.  She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Lisa smiling at her. ‘And you seem to be in a good mood lately Sayo! Did something good happen?’

‘Not in particular, I suppose.’ Sayo turned away.

‘Weren’t you with Tsugumi from Afterglow yesterday Sayo-chan?’ Ako’s voice calls out. Sayo turned around to see all eyes on her and she suddenly her throat felt quite dry. ‘Sis told me that Himari-chan told her that you’ve been at Tsugumi’s cafe a lot lately. Is that why you're in a good mood? Oh I know! Have you two been crafting a spell to awaken a dark lord?’ Ako continued. ‘Udagawa-san, if you have time to talk you have time to practice.’ Sayo turned away, not wanting her band mates to see the bright red colour of her cheeks. ‘Sayo! The Hazawa cafe huh? I never would have thought that. Although they do have really good fries. Why don't we all go after practice today?’ Lisa excitedly proposed. Slightly panicked and flustered, Sayo shut her down right away. ‘Absolutely not. The show is tomorrow, we need all the time we can to practice.’ Sayo turned her focus back on her guitar. Word sure does spread fast among the members of Afterglow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to my friend who basically gave me the ideas.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go as well as Sayo hoped they would.

'Are you going to the Hazawa-cafe after this Sayo?’ Lisa asks casually, glancing at Sayo from the corner of her eye.

The two of them stayed behind after practice to prepare for Roselia’s live show the next day and were clearing away their instruments.

Taken aback, Sayo immediately turned away from Lisa’s line of sight to hide her face.

‘I suppose I will Imai-san.’

‘Ooooh, may I join you? Let's get something to eat, I’m beat and in the mood for food!’

Unsure of how to respond, but not wanting to turn her friend away, Sayo lets out a reluctant sigh.

‘I suppose that wouldn’t hurt.’

 

The two make their way to the Hazawa-cafe, with Lisa asking for food recommendations. Once they entered, they were warmly greeted by Tsugumi, ‘Sayo-san! Oh, and you brought Lisa-san today too what a surprise!’ Sayo sheepishly nods as Tsugumi leads them to their table and places a menu in front of Lisa as she turned to Sayo, ‘Just the usual Sayo-san?’ Again, Sayo nods in confirmation, ‘Please.’

Lisa looks through the menu carefully, ‘I think I’ll take a cappuccino and share the fries with Sayo.’

‘Imai-san, I would appreciate if you would order your own portion of fries.’

A small laughter escapes Tsugumi, which doesn’t go unnoticed as Sayo turns to face her ‘I-I don’t mean to be rude it’s just that...’ she trails off when she sees Tsugumi looking at her softly.

‘It’s just that you’d finish the whole thing yourself right?’ Tsugumi giggles and Sayo averts her eyes to hide her flushed face.

‘Ehhh Sayo! Alright please make that two portions of fries Tsugumi-chan, thank you.’ Tsugumi takes Lisa’s order and walks away humming.

Sayo watched her until she disappeared, and turns to find Lisa staring at her with a smile forming on her lips. ‘Say...Sayo, I’m glad you're interested in someone. You smile a lot more and you seem happy.’ Sayo ponders on Lisa’s words for a moment, ‘Imai-san, are you by any chance talking about Hazawa-san?’ Lisa nods.

‘I’m unsure how to process exactly how I feel, but I do find her interesting.’ Sayo continues.

‘I mean when you're interested in someone, you want to get to know them better right?’

‘Want to get to know them better?’

‘Yes, I think that's probably what it means to love someone. I mean I still want to get to know Yukina better, more than I already do and that's because I love her. I’m not saying it’s the same for you, but I’m glad to see you interested in someone.’

Sayo listened to Lisa’s words silently. Lisa was always the type to give people good advice and perhaps visiting the Hazawa cafe with her wasn’t such a bad idea. Seeing her friend caring about her this way was heartwarming. However, could what she felt for Tsugumi possibly be love? Was it shown on her face whenever she was around Tsugumi, that Lisa had so quickly picked up on it?

Sayo was silent for a moment, allowing Lisa's words to seep deeply into her, when Tsugumi appeared with their orders. Lisa thanked her, and the two engaged in a conversation about baking, while Sayo softly watched Tsugumi, her eyes lingering on her lips. A thought surfaced in Sayo’s mind, a thought which she immediately discarded as she felt her entire body flush. Tsugumi had notice Sayo stiffen, and moved closer to her with a concerned expression, ‘Sayo-san are you feeling alright?’, the worry was apparent in her voice. From all the time they had spent together, it was clear that Tsugumi cared for her, which gave Sayo a strangely warm feeling, one she couldn’t quite describe.

‘I’m alright Hazawa-san, thank you for asking.’ Tsugumi furrowed her brows, ‘your face is flushed Sayo-san, do you have a fever?’ Tsugumi hesitantly reached out her hand and gently placed it on Sayo’s forehead, which undeniably made Sayo’s body temperature rise all the more, despite her efforts to cool herself down.

‘I’m okay, it’s just a little bit warm in here.’ Sayo managed to say, glad that her voice sounded like usual, although she had no idea why it was difficult to maintain her composure in the first place.

‘Ah! Sorry about that, I’ll open a window right away!’ Tsugumi hurriedly went to the nearest window, and Sayo let out a breath she realised she had been holding. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Lisa had turned away from her, her shoulders shaking in an attempt not to laugh.

‘Imai-san, please compose yourself, this is unnecessary.’

‘Let’s both compose ourselves Sayo.’ Lisa turns to her, wiping her eyes and trying to hide her lingering smile.

Huffing, Sayo ate her fries in silence as Lisa tried to comfort her and change the topic.

 

 

 

Roselia was waiting back stage, preparations for their live show were all in place.

Sayo was unable to sleep the night before, spending her time practicing until the first rays of dawn illuminated her room.

Her eyes were slightly blurry and her movements sluggish, but she mentally prepared herself before they all walked on stage.

 

The first two songs were performed as expected, with Sayo playing flawlessly. Sayo positioned her fingers along the neck of her guitar, preparing for the opening of Determination Symphony. Rinko had played her part exactly as practiced and now it was Sayo’s turn. She played just as she had practiced, until her finger slipped on the last note of her intro.

And then again.

A cold sweat washed over her as she continued to play, her body growing tense and her fingers refusing to move as she willed them to. She suddenly felt small, felt eyes of the crowd upon her.

Still, she focused and played until the initial panic had subsided and was replaced with disappointment and regret.

 

Changing out of her outfit, Sayo refused to make contact with anyone.

She felt numb.

Rinko and Ako had tried to make conversation with her after, but she had brushed them off.

Lisa had tried to tell her that her multiple slip up was hardly noticeable, that mistakes happen and she played beautifully, but Sayo had walked right past her.

However, as she tried to exit the dressing room, Yukina stood between her and the door.

‘Hikawa-san is everything alright?’

Sayo turned away, unable to look her in the eyes.

‘Whatever the matter is, please sort it out and don’t exhaust yourself. If you push yourself too much you will be unable to play to your fullest, as you did today.’

Sayo blinked rapidly, willing away the burning sensation of tears that threatening to flow.

‘Understood. This will not happen again.’ Sayo replied as she walked out the door, leaving the rest of Roselia staring after her.

 

Sayo dropped her bag on the ground and fell into bed. She gripped her pillow with enough force to almost rip it, buried her face between it and screamed. The pillow muffled her sounds, and she screamed into it until her voice grew hoarse, until the pillow itself was wet with tears. She then allowed herself to fall into sleep.

Sayo jolted up in bed, awoken by a knocking on her door. She straightened herself and wiped her face before she hesitantly made her way in the dark towards the door of her room and opened the it.

‘Onee-chan, dinner is ready.’

Hina looked as though she wanted to reach out to Sayo, her worry was clearly written on her face. Sayo knew Hina only cared for her, but seeing Hina standing in front of now only brought an aching feeling within Sayo, a feeling of her own incapabilities and failures. She turned away and shook her head before slowly closing the door, allowing the darkness of the room to consume her once more. Sitting at the edge of her bed, she brought her hands up to her face, the echoes of the live show seemed to fill the room, leaving her unable to breath.

 

Sayo stayed behind alone after practice despite the protests of Lisa, who had insisted on staying behind with her. Yukina herself had told Sayo not to overexert herself, to rest and be more focused. But every minute she spent not practicing seemed like a waste of time. A gnawing sensation ate at her to practice more, to practice harder, and she complied, completely losing herself in the sound of her guitar.

Sayo repeated this pattern for weeks, refusing to communicate with anyone, staying behind after practice until Circle was closing, immediately making her way home to practice some more. However, on one particular day as she was lost in her thoughts on her way home, that she unconsciously walked past the Hazawa-cafe. The familiar unique smell that she had come to love made her aware of her surroundings, and she felt a slight ache in her chest as she hesitated outside. She felt as though she was missing something. She slowly walked towards the door and reached out, but pulled back her hand and instead gripped the strap of her guitar bag until her knuckles turned white.

She saw the familiar shape of Tsugumi’s figure rushing about the cafe, and she felt a strong longing to see her. But the same gnawing sensation of needing to practice, of everything else being a waste of time, compelled her to turn away and walk faster. She gritted her teeth and walked past the Hazawa-cafe, rounding the corner before she heard the recognizable opening of the cafe door and a soft voice shouting after her.

 

Sayo avoided everyone, only interacting with the other Roselia members during practice. She ignored Hina’s persistent efforts to try and talk to her. Although aware that her sister only wanted to be there for her, she couldn’t bring herself to look at Hina, only seeing her own failure reflected back at her when she does so.

She often found herself reading old text messages from Tsugumi, often finding herself wanting to reply to new messages she would receive from her. Her face softened slightly as she read the newest message from Tsugumi which she received a few hours before, ‘Sayo-san how are you? I haven’t seen you in a while and was wondering if you would like to meet up some time. If you're busy its okay! I'm here if you need me.’

She pictured Tsugumi writing the message, imagined the way her brows furrowed, her soft expression and gentle eyes.

Sayo’s fingers lingered over the keypad for a while. Unsure how to respond, she let out a soft sigh and closed her phone.

She needed to practice some more, anything else was a waste of time.

More often than not, she would leave her food untouched, partly due to her lack of appetite and partly due to it taking time away from her practice.

Consumed by the sound of her guitar, she didn’t hear the gentle knock on her door.

Slowly turning the handle, Hina peeked her head through the doorway, clearing her throat to warn Sayo of her presence.

Sayo turned to Hina, her annoyance at being disrupted clear on her face. 

‘Onee-chan, you have a visitor.’

Sayo recalled the events of the day. She woke up early to practice, went to school, went to the Roselia practice and had headed straight home to practice some more. She hadn’t made plans with anyone.

‘I’m not expecting visitors.’ Her voice cold, she waved Hina away.

‘It’s Tsugumi-san.’

Sayo’s breath hitched.

_What was Tsugumi doing here?_

Before she could respond, she heard soft footsteps just outside her door, most likely belonging to Tsugumi.

‘Come in Hazawa-san.’

She beckoned to the chair by her table as Tsugumi hesitantly entered the room, carefully looking around.

Hina closed the door and left the two of them sitting across from each other. Unable to look directly at Tsugumi, Sayo turned the main lights off, replacing it with small the light by her bedside.

‘Sayo-san, I’m sorry to come here unannounced... I-I hope im not intruding.’ She heard the slight waver in Tsugumi’s voice, as though the other girl was more than slightly nervous. Wanting to make Tsugumi feel comfortable, she patted the side of her bed, motioning the other girl to sit next to her.

‘That’s quite alright, I apologise for not responding to your messages. I was busy.’

‘Ah, yeah...I heard from Hina-chan that you’ve been practicing a lot, especially after um...’

Sayo felt the shame build up inside of her. The shadows surrounding her were at once denser than before. The air felt thick with words she wanted to say to her, thick enough that she was sure she could slice through it. They sat in silence for a while, until Tsugumi inched closer.

‘Sayo-san, I’m sorry.’

‘For wha-'

She was taken aback as Tsugumi reached out to her, gently placing her hands on her cheeks. Her immediate reaction was to remove Tsugumi’s hands, but instead she felt herself place her own hands on Tsugumi’s.

‘Are you okay?’ The other girl asked gently, her eyes searching Sayo’s face. Sayo felt the tears rising in her throat, forming a lump, and wondered why Tsugumi’s simple question stirred so much within her. Her heart felt like it was contracting, and she tried to say _I'm okay_ , but the words that escaped her were not what she intended.

‘How will I find my own sound, if I can’t even play properly without making mistakes.’ She willed her voice to sound strong, but it betrayed her. Tsugumi just watched her, listening, silently urging her to continue.

‘Without my guitar-without being able to play it, I have nothing, nothing that makes me... me, nothing to call my own. Nothing that separates me from...I practice and I practice but it is as though I’m not moving forward. Without progress, I can’t find something that’s unique to me. Whats the difference between that and being empty?’

Sayo became aware that her chest was caving in, and that she had lost her composure. She wondered what Tsugumi thought of her, at this moment. She was certain she looked and sounded pathetic.

The hand on her cheek fell from her face, and Sayo was suddenly gripped with a slight feeling of fear, as she raised her head but refused to look at the other girls face.

Tsugumi had accepted her and made her feel comfortable, but she feared that perhaps this was too much of a burden to place on Tsugumi. She put her hand to her chest and felt that her breathing had turned shallow, not daring to face Tsugumi, but somehow being unable to control herself, Sayo continued.

‘I hate this. I hate myself. I hate this feeling of failure, this-this feeling of never matching up. I need to do more, I need to practice more-‘

She felt arms wrapped around her neck, and a dampness upon her cheek. She thought she had started to cry, until she looked up and saw Tsugumi’s cheeks were wet, her tears falling on Sayo’s own. She supposed that she had made Tsugumi cry, and for that she felt more anger towards herself. She studied her face as she looked up, watching the tears fall down her cheeks. She reached up to wipe them when Tsugumi breathed in and spoke.

‘Sayo-san, I-I had no idea you felt this way about yourself.’ Tsugumi’s grip tightened on her

‘Lean on me more, I want to make you happy.’

The words puzzled Sayo. She was unsure why the brunette would suggest leaning on her, when this was something she had to do on her own.

‘Hearing you say these things about yourself, that you hate yourself...it makes my heart ache terribly to see you this way.’

‘But I was the reason the live show didn’t go perfectly. I made the mistakes, and this was my fault for not being good enough.’ Sayo felt her own tears start to escape her and fall down her cheeks, mixing in with Tsugumi’s.

‘How much do you know about the Sayo I see?’ Tsugumi's eyes, shining with tears, looked into Sayo's own.

‘You may not like yourself, you may only see your imperfections, but let me tell you what I see.’ Tsugumi inhaled slowly, her voice shaking, her lips trembling.

‘I love your voice, even just one word from you makes my heart feel warm inside. I love your eyes- you usually look so stern but when you talk to someone you care about, I love how they soften and how they show you care. I love your fingers, you have such beautiful delicate fingers but when you touch me I know they're strong. I love the way you walk, when we walk together I love the way you occasionally turn to make sure I'm still close to you. I love the way you take everything seriously and always strive to make things perfect, there's no need for it but you make sure everything is in the best way possible it’s endearing. I love the way you get flustered when you order junk food, but always seem relaxed and happy, especially when you're eating fries and drinking a milkshake.’

Tsugumi stopped and inhaled, and Sayo realised she had said it all in one breath and was impressed, despite everything.

She continued, ‘I love the way you play your guitar. I love the sound it makes. I can recognise its sound,  _your_ sound, anywhere. You play so beautifully, I could listen to it forever.’

Sayo noticed that Tsugumi had started to quiver, and her sudden consciousness of Tsugumi made her more conscious of herself, of what she had just heard. She instinctively reached out and pulled Tsugumi closer. She felt the rapid beating of a heart she thought belonged to her, but it was Tsugumi’s, matching her own. Sayo was unsure how to respond. She had not thought that others had noticed these things about her, that _Tsugumi_ had noticed these things about her.

She had no idea that Tsugumi loves the sound of her playing.

A wave of understanding hit her, and she realised that she heard the words she wanted to hear the most, when she wanted to hear them the most, from the one she wanted the most to hear them from, and she suddenly felt very conscious of her feelings. Her thoughts of her failure were clouded and replaced by the vulnerability she felt around Tsugumi. She suddenly felt overwhelmed as she looked up at Tsugumi looking down at her, as Tsugumi wiped her tears and whispered ‘I love you.’

Sayo began to tremble as she held Tsugumi close.

Tsugumi, who had noticed her weakness and stayed by her, who had told her things about herself she wasn’t aware of, who accepted her despite her flaws and loved her for her imperfections.

And she realised that she loved her. She loved her very much, and as she held on tighter, her body trembling, her voice shaking, she managed to say ‘I love you too. I love you, and thank you for accepting me and staying by me’

 

‘Sayo-san you don't have to walk me home! I’ll be alright! You should rest, you’ve worn yourself out lately.’ Tsugumi protested, her face contorted into a pout which Sayo thought was unbelievably cute, so much so that she wanted to poke her cheeks but stopped herself.

‘Hazawa-san, I insist.’

‘I-if you insist then.’

And with that, Sayo walked beside Tsugumi, who was looking up at the stars while Sayo was looking at her. Sayo tried to pay attention as she described the different constellations, but her thoughts were occupied by the closeness of their hands to each other, that she reached out, gently lacing their fingers together.

Tsugumi stopped talking and looked at her, her cheeks had blushed a deep red colour. Sayo herself felt her blood rush to her face, but cleared her throat and continued walking.

As they walked hand in hand, Sayo felt the calmest she had felt in a long time while listening to Tsugumi as she continued to talk about the constellations. She felt comfortable and content with Tsugumi by her side, the feeling of her hands in Sayo's and how they seemed to fit so perfectly.

As they reached the Hazawa residence, Tsugumi felt hesitant to leave Sayo, and pulled her closer, burying her face just above Sayo's chest. A soft giggle escape Sayo, and she planted a tender kiss upon Tsugumi’s forehead.

‘I shall see you tomorrow. I’ll stop by after practice.’

Tsugumi’s face lit up, her smile making the fluttering within Sayo go wilder.

They bid each other goodnight, and when Sayo arrived home, Hina was eagerly waiting for her by the door. ‘Onee-chan! You’re home!’ Sayo placed a hand on her sisters head, she was aware Hina did her best, for what she could do, and was grateful.

‘Thank you Hina. And I apologise if I’ve been too cold towards you.’ Hina hugged her tighter, tight enough that the air escaped Sayo, which made her smile. ‘I’m just glad you’re okay onee-chan.’

‘As am I. Thank you Hina.’

 

As Sayo walked into her room and lay in bed, she was glad she attended that baking class a while ago. She was glad she met Tsugumi. And her heart began to beat faster at the thought of seeing Tsugumi the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

Sayo stood just outside the Hazawa-cafe. She shifted her stance, unsure if she felt nervous to see Tsugumi because of her unsteady heart rate, or if it was because the rest or Roselia was standing behind her, eager to go in.

‘Hikawa-san, why are you hesitating?’ Yukina asked as she walked past Ako and proceeded to open the door to enter the cafe. She was followed by Rinko, then Ako, and finally Lisa, who gave Sayo a reassuring squeeze and a knowing wink.  Sayo hesitated for a few more seconds before she composed herself and followed after them.

Once Tsugumi saw her, her face lit up as she excitedly made her way to her, and Sayo couldn’t help but soften at the sight. They stood facing each other awkwardly for a moment, both unsure of what to do, when Sayo felt the warmth of Tsugumi’s arms slowly wrapped around her waist.

‘You look better Sayo-san.’ Tsugumi whispered into her.

Sayo’s heart couldn’t help but tremble slightly and melt at the sound of Tsugumi’s voice. She planted a soft kiss upon her forehead and whispered back, ‘Thank you, Hazawa-san.’

Sayo looked up to see the rest of Roselia gaping at them, with Lisa trying to usher them into their seats, and her face immediately felt as though it was on fire. She slowly untangled herself from Tsugumi, instantly missing the warmth of her body. She awkwardly sat next to Yukina, who was eyeing Tsugumi with an expression Sayo couldn’t read.

Once they had all ordered their food and Tsugumi left to fetch their orders, they all sat in silence for a moment until Yukina turned to Sayo.

‘Are you in love with the keyboardist of Afterglow?’

Sayo’s heart threatened to beat out of her chest, her cheeks colouring red.

‘Onee-chan said you two were close! I’ll support you Sayo-san!’ Ako excitedly exclaimed, and Sayo gave her a thankful nod then turned to Yukina.

‘I do. I mean, I am. Shes...Hazawa-san is wonderful.’

Yukina gave her a soft, reassuring smile.

‘Roselia will support you. However, do not let your personal feelings and relationships interfere with the progress of the band.’

‘I’m aware. This won't hinder my performance.’ Sayo exhaled.

If anything, having Tsugumi support her was helping her gain more confidence in her playing.

‘Y-you seem happier Hikawa-san and I’m glad.’ Rinko smiled, and Lisa let out a low whistle when Tsugumi appeared with their orders.

‘Thank you for looking after our Sayo, Tsugumi-san, you’re part of the family now!’ Tsugumi’s eyes widened at Lisa’s words, and she directed an embarrassed look towards Sayo, who softly held her gaze. She wanted to immediately cup her face in her hands, to kiss her soft lips; but she cleared her throat and smiled. ‘Thank you for the food Hazawa-san.’ Sayo watched as Tsugumi nodded and walked away, already missing her presence.

As she proceeded to eat her fries, she unconsciously nodded to herself. She was indeed in love with the keyboardist of Afterglow.

 

 

The next day, Sayo stood outside CIRCLE as dusk approached. She checked the time on her phone, she was early- but Afterglow was due to finish their practice session soon. As she stood outside and leaned against the wall, she smiled to herself as thoughts of Tsugumi ran through her mind, as they usually did. She turned as she heard the door open and the chattering of people.

‘Sayo from Roselia?’ Ran was staring at her dead in the eye, which sent slight shivers down her spine.

‘Tsugumi did say she was meeting Sayo-san after practice.’ Tomoe smiled softly at her, placing a hand on Ran’s shoulder.

‘If it isn’t Sayo, Tsugumi’s wife.’ Moca teasingly smiled. Sayo felt her face redden and cleared her throat to greet them, but Moca continued.

‘Let me introduce you to the family. This is Ran, our fearless leader and-‘

‘Moca, stop.’ Ran abruptly cut her off, while never taking her eyes off Sayo.

‘How long have you and Tsugumi been seeing each other?’ She continued.

Sayo was surprised to find herself gulp slowly as she tried to remove the intruding lump in her throat. This situation was new to her, and she was unsure of how to proceed.

‘Hazawa-san and I have been seeing each other for only a few weeks.’ She steeled her voice.

‘You’re still calling her by her family name? When will you call your girlfriend by her given name?’ Himari raised an eyebrow, but Sayo’s attention was focused on Ran, who stood unwavering, her arms folded.

‘How close have you two gotten?’ Moca wiggled her eyebrows, folding her arms next to Ran.

Sayo’s cheeks flushed scarlet, and she looked away in embarrassment. Himari's calling Tsugumi her 'girlfriend' almost threw her off balance and now Moca's... all these questions were chipping away at her steel exterior.

 

‘Sorry for the wait guys! Ah, Sayo-san!’

Heaven seemed to open up and shine it’s holy light on Tsugumi, as she walked through the door, and a wave of relief washed over Sayo, as she thought that in that moment, Tsugumi was in fact an angel sent to save her from her awkward situation.

Tsugumi stood next to Sayo and looked around, weighing the atmosphere.

‘Tsugumi’s finally here, we should get going and leave them to it.’ Tomoe interjected as she and Himari slowly ushered Ran away. Moca placed a hand on Sayo’s shoulder and nodded.

‘You’re part of us now. Welcome to the group, please look after our dear Tsugumi.’ Sayo tried her best to reassure her, while throwing quick glances behind her as Ran continued to bore holes into her back. Her look seemed to say ‘if you ever hurt her I’ll kill you.’

But despite everything, Sayo was warmed by the sense of family and protectiveness Afterglow had for one another. She was glad Tsugumi had such caring friends.

 

Sayo walked slowly, unconsciously timing her strides to match Tsugumis so she could walk beside her and not slightly in front. Dusk had approached quickly, and the sky had begun to colour a deep red. Sayo smiled softly to herself as she watched Tsugumi point out the colour of the sky and talk about how her band practice went. Sayo felt as though she could drown in her voice pleasantly, and still be able to breathe. The calm and soothing voice she loved so much filled her, and she let her hand fall from the strap of her bag and down to her side, slightly brushing against the other girls hands. Tsugumi smiled at her and slowly entwined their hands together, and Sayo’s heart fluttered restlessly. She held on tighter to Tsugumi’s hands as they walked, and quickly grew accustomed to the feeling of their hands together, of how good it felt, of how right it felt.

‘Sayo-san are you okay?’

She was hoping the other girl wouldn’t notice the effect simply holding her hand had on her, she was sure her own hand had probably started to feel a little clammy, but she didn't want to let go.

‘I'm okay Hazawa-san, just a little warm.’

Tsugumi looked at her knowingly before she cleared her throat. Her grip on Sayo’s hand tightened slightly, as if she was trying to gain some sort of courage that Sayo could offer.

‘The summer festival is in two days and um...I was wondering if you’d like to come with me.’

Sayo recalled Hina mentioning it, but had paid it no mind. However, the thought of seeing Tsugumi in a yukata surrounded by the bright lights of fireworks made her heart swell. She nodded slowly, then wondered if her bandmates would be there.

‘Would it just be the two of us?’ Her voice shook slightly and she was unsure why. Tsugumi’s cheeks blushed slightly as she averted her eyes, ‘well...yes. I’d like to go on a date with my girlfriend.’ Every fiber in Sayo’s body threatened to combust, she felt the beating of her heart speed up at an alarming rate that she stopped for a moment.

 

 _Girlfriend_.

 

_A date._

 

_A date with Hazawa-san as her girlfriend._

 

Sayo was lost in a haze when soft tugs on her fingers brought her back to reality, and she felt herself soften as she looked at the other girl. ‘I would love that Hazawa-san.’ She somehow managed, and was overwhelmed with love when Tsugumi smiled at her.

The first star of the Virgo constellation had begun to twinkle overhead and seemed to illuminate the dark sky as Tsugumi took Sayo’s hand in hers.

 

 

Sayo hardly slept for the next two days. To say she was feeling nervous was an understatement. Her thoughts would linger on Tsugumi’s soft smile, her touch and the sound of her voice. She was nervous, but excited to be able to spend time with her. Sayo embraced the feelings which were foreign to her. She embraced the way she felt vulnerable but at ease with her, the way her heart fluttered and the way she craved her company. Simply being next to her left Sayo with a feeling she loved dearly.

She sat patiently as Hina fixed the last bits and pieces of her kimono. Hina had insisted on helping Sayo get ready, and when she reluctantly agreed, Hina had immediately begun working on her hair. ‘Annnnnd all done onee-chan!’ Hina’s eyes sparkled as she admired her work.

‘You look beautiful onee-chan!’ Hina nodded, passing Sayo a hand mirror. Sayo looked at herself. Half of her was surprisingly shocked at how good Hina's work looked, the other half was gratitude towards her sister.

‘Thank you Hina.’

‘As much as I wish you’d go with me, enjoy your time with Tsugu-chan.’ Hina grinned.

Sayo gently placed a hand on her sisters shoulders, allowing herself to relax and for the softness she had been feeling lately to seep out. Ever since the day Tsugumi held her as she cried, she had been wondering how to be closer to Hina, how to allow herself to show Hina how much she cares for her.

‘Next time, I will go with you. Perhaps some day you, Hazawa-san and I could do something together.’ Hina’s face lit up even bright than before as she threw herself in Sayo’s arms.

‘I would love that! Let's bake cookies together onee-chan!’ Sayo giggled softly, jumping slightly when she heard the buzzing of her phone.

 

**_I cant wait to see you later Sayo-san. (≧▽≦)_ **

 

Smiling to herself as she walked out the door, Sayo went to go pick her girlfriend up for their date.

 

Sayo stood outside the Hazawa residence awaiting Tsugumi. The nervousness she had tried to drown out was starting to resurface and take hold of her, and all she could do was feel it.

She heard soft familiar footsteps from behind her and turned to see Tsugumi in a cream coloured kimono dotted with pink and red flowers. 

Sayo’s breath hitched.

Her nervousness faded away, only to be replaced with awe. To say she was stunned was an understatement. Sayo found it difficult to breathe as she looked at Tsugumi, her heart beating wildly in her chest, threatening to swell out of her ribcage. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Overcome with a craving to touch her, she wrapped her arms around a confused Tsugumi.

‘Um...Sayo-san?’

‘You look beautiful Hazawa-san. Please allow me to stay like this for a while.’ Tsugumi’s cheeks burned as she chuckled and wrapped her own arms around Sayo, breathing her in.

 

They walked through the different booths slowly, with their fingers entwined. Tsugumi gently tugged Sayo towards a ball throwing booth, attempting to win herself a panda plush. Sayo giggled gently at the comical scene of her girlfriend trying her best, yet missing all the targets. She cleared her throat and took her place behind Tsugumi.

‘Watch your target Hazawa-san, and stand with a straight posture.’ She placed her hands on Tsugumi’s hips, eliciting a slight shiver from her which did not go unnoticed.

‘Ah, I-I’m terribly sorry.’ Sayo made to draw her hands away, but Tsugumi kept them in place with her own.

‘I was just surprised at how good it felt to have you so close Sayo-san.’ she smiled, and Sayo once again had trouble breathing, her hands beginning to tremble.

‘Is this how they teach you to aim in archery?’ Sayo noticed a mischievous look in Tsugumi’s eyes and was slightly confused by her question.

‘It is not. In archery, we-‘ She was cut off by the other girls soft laughter, and realized that perhaps Tsugumi was joking, and she had taken it too seriously. Shaking her head, she once again went through the motions of aiming and throwing with her, encouraging her until she had finally hit her target after the 18th try.

Her features soften as she watched Tsugumi hug her prize, and thought that the stuffed panda was perhaps the luckiest plush in the world.

‘Thank you Sayo-san!’ Tsugumi's smile radiated through her, and in that moment Sayo  just wanted to cup her face and kiss her, but she steeled herself. ‘You're welcome, you did well Hazawa-san.’

‘All because of you.’ Tsugumi beamed, as she reached out her hand to Sayo, who took it softly.

 

‘Sayo-san, wait here a bit.’ Tsugumi motioned to the bench they had picked out to watch the fireworks from, leaving the stuffed panda with her and hurrying away. Confused, Sayo sat down and lifted the bear up, staring at it’s face. She smiled to herself and hugged it.

_Soft._

_Just like Hazawa-san._

Sayo felt relaxed and free, happy and comfortable. She tended to avoid crowded places and had noticed Tsugumi purposely take her along the quieter areas. Even now, the bench Tsugumi had led her to was in a quiet area with only a handful of people in sight. The thoughtfulness of Tsugumi made her smile into the panda. Although not in her house, she felt at home with Tsugumi. She embraced this feeling which was new to her.

‘Sayo-san thank you for waiting!’ She saw a giant ball of pink fluff running towards her, the top of Tsugumi’s brown head bobbing up and down. Her face peeked out from the side of the massive cotton candy as she waved at Sayo.

‘I got the largest size hoping we could share, if that’s okay with you.’ Tsugumi sat next to her. Confused, Sayo frowned. ‘Of course it’s okay with me. Why wouldn’t it be okay?’

‘Well, maybe...you would prefer to have your own?’ Tsugumi voice was quiet, shy. Sayo picked a piece of the pink cotton ball and ate it. It was sweet and melted in her mouth.

‘I would love to share with you.’ She noticed Tsugumi’s soft blushed and softly caressed her cheek before she could catch herself. Suddenly aware of her actions, she hesitated slightly, searching her girlfriend’s face for any sign that she was the least bit uncomfortable. Tsugumi wiggled herself closer, ‘The fireworks are due to start soon.’ She had just finished her sentence when the first of the fireworks display illuminated the night sky, breaking through the darkness in colours of red, yellow, green and orange. Sayo’s eyes widened, her mouth open. She had never seen such beautiful fireworks before, or perhaps her world had not been this colourful for a long time. She felt something sweet melt in her mouth, and turned to see Tsugumi giggling, as she picked off another bit of cotton candy and offer it to Sayo, who smiled and allowed her to feed her.

‘They sure are pretty!’

‘They sure are.’ Sayo nodded, never taking her eyes of Tsugumi.

Their fingers unconsciously locked together, and Sayo leaned in as Tsugumi smiled at her and kissed her. The kiss was deep and soft, and Sayo never wanted this moment to end, while the fireworks lit up the darkness and shone their light upon the two of them.

They each made a wish to be able to keep smiling by each others side for a long time forward.

**Author's Note:**

> This was an intro chapter ig, chapter 2 is when stuff actually happens sorry im bad at this.


End file.
